"Reflections on a Dead Issue
(with help from the Fonz, Esau...and Me)"Remember Fonzy from "Happy Days" fame? Though he was arrogant and self-centered, he had a persona which endeared itself to us. His loyalty to Richie and the gang, along with his ever present opposition to bullies, gave him a warm place in our hearts. Fonzy had another character trait which far too many of us could readily identify with-the inability to apologize. The comic relief of Fonzy's struggle to say he was truly sorry (I'm sorrrr") masked an all too universal problem.
Remember the President's speech in which he conceded some sort of "inappropriate relationship" with Monica Lewinsky? This clearly brought the issue of what constitutes a bona fide apology to our collective conscious. Though advisors of the President were hoping for a humble and contrite mea culpa, what we witnessed was all too common-all too common for human nature, that is. Instead of taking all the blame, the President pushed significant responsibility in the direction of Ken Starr. Instead of humility, we saw anger. Instead of acknowledging that he lied, the euphemistic phrase that he misled the American people was invoked. This sort of rationalization is nothing new for us humans!
In the Scripture, we find a more than eager Esau willing to impulsively sell his birthright blessing for a pot of stew. Much later on, the commentary on this incident is quite revealing. One New Testament writer mentions that Esau didn't retrieve his blessing even when he "sought for it with tears." Equally poignant, the apostle Paul declares that "the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation; but the sorrow of the world produces death."
Sounds all too familiar, doesn't it? Godly sorrow for sin does not grieve over the awkward or inconvenient results that may result. Godly sorrow, according to the Christian tradition of which President Clinton voluntarily associates himself, exhibits itself in declaring that sins are wrong in and of themselves. Confession may have instrumental value. That is, a true confession by the President might have improved his approval rating. But to use confessions of any sort for political or personal gain is to denigrate the very thing that they stand for-forthright, candid, and humble admission of all guilt and the willingness to repent.
Given all that, how do you fare when you're in a conflict with someone? When you are wronged, are you quick to forgive? Or, more to the point, are you quick to admit your own wrongdoing without shoving the blame back to the other person? Keep in mind that your story, my story, does not involve the humiliation of explaining ourselves to millions of people. Apologies for us should be a piece of cake, but they are not. Admission of wrongdoing flies in the face of everything we hold dear-namely ourselves!
Did President Clinton screw up with his lack of candor and humility in his explanation to the American people? You bet he did. But before we take just him to the woodshed, let's be careful to examine our own lives. Honest searching of our own hearts need not eliminate outrage over the President's misdeeds. However, it should caution us to be more circumspect and humble with our own sin.